Saturday, May 9, 2009


There was fire all around us, fire in between us. 
I felt helpless. I didn't want him to go, i didn't want this to be the end. The flames had started to rise, the heat enough to melt us. The fire was taking him away from me. My scream was stuck in my throat. My thoughts frozen in my head, not even the fire could melt them. I didn't want him to go. I didn't want this to be the end.

 There was nothing i could do. I stood still. Our eyes met. The memories flooded my mind. My eyes closed as the images flashed by. The songs. The dances. The whispers. The secrets. The lies. The darkness. The fear. The safety. The love. The fights. The lust. The words. The endings. The beginnings. The laughter. The tears. The rain. The sun. The dreams. The pain. 

It seemed surreal. My surroundings began to fade, the fire was growing. I needed him to touch me. To hold me one last time. To breathe with me. I needed the smell of his skin, the smell that my mind associated with safety. I needed to look at the sky one last time with him holding me close. I couldn't let go. Why should i have to? Why this fire? Why this sudden storm?

I searched his eyes, i searched his expression. I wanted to see if he was hurting. Was he waiting for me to take it all away? I stood still, staring at his angelic face. His delicate features.
He smiled. It was a smile that i had questioned many times before, a smile i had never understood.
It was the smile of victorious defeat. 
Almost suddenly, i drowned in pain. Pain much greater than what i had ever felt. I could hear the fire roar in my ears. The tables had turned, it seemed. 
I finally realized. 
It was not him who was burning.
 It was me.

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